Eternals (due out 5 November 2021) With each of their MCU movies, Marvel makes us waste our time sitting through 10 mins of names of people who have spent months pouring their heart and soul into the blockbuster that we’ve just seen, so we can get a couple of mins a usually-inconsequential scene that foreshadow […]
Read More Nerds attack Marvel’s Eternals, and Sexy Sonic (again)Venom: Let There Be Carnage (due out Sept or Oct 2021 (they’ve not decided) Sony is planning to build it’s own MCU-style Spider-Man cinematic universe; they have their Marvel joint venture Spider-Man: Far From Home coming out later this year alongside the Venom sequel, plus Morbius, which everyone has forgotten/is trying to forget. While promoting […]
Read More Chloé Zhao is terrified of Dune, and Idris Elba has four dicks?Sonic the Hedgehog (due out 14 February 2020) How has your slow film-related news week been going? Because, apart from a new trailer for the redesigned Sonic the Hedgehog arriving this week, it’s been slim pickings. So let’s see what I can rustle up and try and make funnies out of. Oh, and fans of […]
Read More 15th Nov: Sonic’s glow up and more dead actors are comingJurassic World 3 (due out 21 June 2021) Jaded Jurassic Park/World fans were slightly perked up by news that Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum and Sam Neil will return to the series in the third Jurassic World movie – hopefully for longer than the two minutes and thirty-five seconds that Goldblum appeared in Jurassic World: Fallen […]
Read More Nov 1st: Jurassic justifications and Edgar Wright’s time travellingToy Story 4 (due out 21 June 2019) Is it Money? I bet it’s money. Enter Toy Story 4 director Josh Cooley: “Once we figured out that was the place to go, I think, if you were to ask Woody as a character, “What was the biggest moment of your life?” He would say, “It […]
Read More May 3rd: Sonic’s rollercoaster week and Toy Story 4’s real reason for being madeThe Lion King (release date 19 July 2019) We had our first full trailer for Disney’s latest cash grab live-action remake of The Lion King, and after what happened with Thanos and Pennywise, I am remarkably surprised that no-one on the internet has declared that they wanted to bang Scar or adult Simba. If anything, […]
Read More Apr 12th: The Lion King’s unsexy ScarStar Wars: Episode IX (due out 20 December 2019) Disney screened their first Star Wars 9 footage for shareholders, and good ol’ Scott Ladewig was able to report back on what he saw. WARNING: NO SPOILERS, OR ANYTHING WORTHWHILE, ARE IN THIS FEEDBACK Suicide Squad 2 (due out 6 August 2021) After it was confirmed […]
Read More Mar 8th: Suicide Squad 2’s new line-up and Star Wars 9 sneak peekAladdin (due out 24 May 2019) We got our first, highly-anticipated images from the live-action Aladdin film, directed by Guy Ritchie: Here’s Abu And Jafar Who else thinks that it looks like a low-rent Aladdin porn parody film? But calm your fears, because Will Smith has confirmed that his appearance in the sneak peeks aren’t […]
Read More Dec 21st: Aladdin’s weird new look and Green Book’s fried chicken issuesGodzilla: King of the Monsters(due out 31 May 2019) We got another trailer for the new Godzilla movie, I’m about to watch it, and expect it had fleeting glimpses of Godzilla and people looking pensive. … Alright, I’ve just watched it, and I was right, fleeting glimpses: tick. Pensive people: tick. But also, fleeting glimpses […]
Read More Dec 14th: Spider-Man’s sh*t stealth and Sonic goes full furry
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