Star Wars: Episode IX
(due out 20 December 2019)
Disney screened their first Star Wars 9 footage for shareholders, and good ol’ Scott Ladewig was able to report back on what he saw.
WARNING: NO SPOILERS, OR ANYTHING WORTHWHILE, ARE IN THIS FEEDBACK
Suicide Squad 2
(due out 6 August 2021)
After it was confirmed last week that Will Smith won’t be reprising his role as Shooty Will Smith in James Gunn’s Suicide Squad sequel, it has emerged this week that they are already in talks with Idris Elba to take over the role.
According to THR:
“Sources say that Elba met with Gunn on Friday and it went so swimmingly that talks began with the studio in earnest. Elba was the first and only choice for Gunn and the studio.”
It will be exciting to see how Idris Elba fits into the role of Shooty Will Smith. Meanwhile, Collider have revealed the potential new anti-heroes to join the Squad. Guess which name I have made up:
King Shark, Peacemaker, Polka-Dot Man, Ratcatcher and Peacemaker.
Nah, it was a joke, I didn’t make any up, they’re all DC characters… even Polka-Dot Man.
I could give you a character bio for each of them, but the only one worth talking about it Peacemaker “aka Christopher Smith, is an agent of peace whose motives are driven by an extremist form of pacifism that makes him love peace so much he would kill for it.”
I… just… love… PEEEEEEEEACE!!!
Sonic the Hedgehog
(due out 26 December 2019)
Earlier this year, or last year – I don’t care to remember – everyone was startled by how they’d given the new live-action Sonic weirdly muscular legs, which, I bet, prompted loads of weirdos to develop sexual feelings towards the blue hedgehog.
It happened for Venom, Pennywise, Thanos and probably many more non-human film characters that you haven’t even considered in a carnal sense. If was to have to choose, it’d be the fish voiced by Angelina Jole in Shark Tale.
Anyway, new possible images of Sonic have been released, and it doesn’t look as bad as our imaginations thought that it would:
Meanwhile, the creator of Sonic has Tweeted, and it might be praising, or it might be furious at the new depiction:
If only there was some way of translating that Tweet – I guess it’ll have to go down as one of those mysteries, like Bigfoot or The Loch Ness Monster.
Inheritance
(due out TBC)
Simon Pegg is the latest actor to do a bit of extreme weight loss for his role in new thriller Inheritance (without a release date).
While little information exists around Pegg’s role, the plot is: “A patriarch of a wealthy and powerful family suddenly passes away, leaving his wife and daughter with a shocking secret inheritance that threatens to unravel and destroy their lives.”
Pegg’s trainer took to Twitter to show off the incredible six-month transformation – which has seen the actor lose 19 pounds and drop to just 8% body fat – and also his incredibly pointy nipples:
This Week’s Female Reboot
I could do that thing, where I go on about how rubbish women are, but am
actually being ironic and pro-women, or I could just tell you that there are
plans to remake Rush Hour with a
female-centric cast.
STX Studios have begun developing the project with The Meg’s Binging Li offered the role – my guess is the wise-cracking, street-hustling LAPD cop, because I’m not a racist.
How about, instead of remaking films with female-centric casts, they just make good original films with female-centric casts.
Perhaps no-one has mentioned that to the Hollywood studios: ‘Make good films.’ – I’m a visionary.
Trailer of the Week
This week’s selection includes Brightburn, Tolkein, Midsommar – the new horror from the makers of Hereditary, Shazam!, and Hellboy.
But the number one trailer of the week is for the Star Wars burlesque parody, titled The Empire Strips Back.
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