Dec 21st: Aladdin’s weird new look and Green Book’s fried chicken issues

Aladdin
(due out 24 May 2019)

We got our first, highly-anticipated images from the live-action Aladdin film, directed by Guy Ritchie:

Mena Massoud as the street rat with a heart of gold, Aladdin, and Will Smith as the larger-than-life Genie in Disney’s ALADDIN, directed by Guy Ritchie.

Here’s Abu

And Jafar

Who else thinks that it looks like a low-rent Aladdin porn parody film? But calm your fears, because Will Smith has confirmed that his appearance in the sneak peeks aren’t what The Genie will look like all of the time:

Lady and the Tramp
(due out TBC)

Now that CGI artists have mastered animating animals so that they don’t look nightmare-inducing, Disney have been rolling out all their old classics in live-action/CGI as we’ve seen with Beauty & the Beast, The Jungle Book and Cinderella, and 2019 releases Aladdin and The Lion King.

In an interview with Thomas Mann (who will co-star in the Lady and the Tramp remake as Lady’s owner Jim Dear), he explained that they’re using real dogs instead of computer generated ones:

“Who doesn’t want to see two real dogs kiss over a plate of spaghetti? That is the main draw for me. You get the charisma of real dogs in there.

“Lady and the Tramp came out in 1955. I understand people who are like, “Don’t mess with the original,” but they aren’t re-animating it. It’s a live-action remake. So, why not?

It’s a bold move from Disney, let’s see how it worked out for other ‘talking dog’ films:

Let’s hope Disney love and nostalgia will see this one through, because people sure as shit don’t want talking dogs.

The Favourite
(due out 1 January 2019)

Yorgos Lanthimos’ period piece is one of the 2018/19 films that has cleared a big space on the mantelpiece in anticipation for the many, many awards that will be lavished upon it over the next few months.

Although, there is one big thing that could stop it from receiving the recognition that it deserves – its fondness for foul language, especially the c-word.

Olivia Colman had this to say about its sweary limitations:

“Who gives a fuck? Though [the c-word] really is a big no-no. It’s sort of equal to the n-word in America.”

“Here the n-word is way up there and c*nt is sort of all right. But the people who vote are all in the industry and less puritanical and shocked by stuff.

That’s crusty old white men for you:

A woman having sex with a fish creature: Great.
A bit of colourful language: Unacceptable

Green Book
(due out 1 February 2019)

(L to R) VIGGO MORTENSEN and MAHERSHALA ALI star in Participant Media and DreamWorks Pictures’ “Green Book.” In his foray into powerfully dramatic work as a feature director, Peter Farrelly helms the film inspired by a true friendship that transcended race, class and the 1962 Mason-Dixon line.

Another potential awards-botherer is the ‘based on a true story’ tale of black musician Doctor Shirley who forms a friendship with Italian-American con artist and enforcer Tony Vallelonga, when he is hired by the musician as a driver for a tour of the south of America at the time of heightened racial tensions.

In the trailer we get to enjoy the growing relationship between the pair, including Vallelonga taking Doctor Shirley’s fried chicken virginity.

But all it is not going down well with the estate of Doctor Shirley, who refute a lot of the claims made in the film which is written by Vallelonga’s son Nick. And when Shirley’s brother Maurice met with journalist Joshua Johnson, he had a lot to say about the matter. Here is what Johnson recounted:

“He refuses to see the film because it is, in his words, ‘full of lies.’ He also said that, unlike in the film, Dr. Shirley was not estranged from his family or the black community.”

“He says he had definitely eaten fried chicken before.”

That fried chicken detail is an especially large oversight .If you’re going to portray a man onscreen, you’d better not misrepresent his fried chicken history.

Sonic the Hedgehog
(due out 26 December 2019)

I’m sure you remember the uproar after a teaser poster for the Sonic the Hedgehog film was released showing Sonic with long, muscular arms and legs.

Keen to capitalise on the internet outrage (because all press is good press, right?), they have released another teaser image:

They’ve got even more muscly than last time. This film is going to be wildly unpleasant to look at.

Legal News of the Week

In Trump’s America, rednecks should be allowed to shoot all the gentle, skittish deer they want, and perhaps even an immigrant or two… just to keep the numbers down.

Which is why, it is UNACCEPTABLE that Missouri native Dave Berry Jr. (not the one who used to go out with Heidi from Sugababes) has been punished for illegally killing hundreds of deer with his family.

On top of his year-long prison sentence, Berry has been ordered to watch Bambi once a month for the duration of his sentence.

This is going to go one of two ways: either he’ll see the error of his ways and never kill a deer again OR he will see Bambi frolicking around and develop a hyper bloodlust for deer and all forest critters, and when his sentence is up, go on a Rambo-style rampage on all forest-dwelling wildlife.

Which of the two is more likely to happen?

Trailer of the Week

As expected in the week before Christmas, the film trailers have slowed down a lot, but have still had teasers for Downton Abbey, Hellboy (starring Big Mo from EastEnders), The Secret Life of Pets 2 and The Lego Movie 2.