Jan 11th: More Mary Poppins? And Tarantino’s continued onscreen foot fetish

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
(due out 26 July 2019)

Quentin Tarantino’s career-long effort to get everyone into his foot fetish by showing more onscreen Feet per Minute (FpM) than any other director continues with Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

As a side story to extended shots of feet, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt play an old Western actor and his stunt double during the time of the Manson Family cult’s killing of actress Sharon Tate

Cast member Scoot McNairy (definitely not his real name) has talked to Collider about Tarantino’s methods and what to expect:

“His process and the way that he does it, I’ve never been on a set like that in my life. It feels like you’re making movies from the 1930’s. It the organic, raw, way of making films, where everything is in camera. He doesn’t even have a monitor. He just stares at you, next to the camera. It’s fascinating.”

“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was probably one of the greatest experiences of my career. Just to watch Quentin be on set and be Quentin, and hold court, was one of the most fascinating things I have probably ever experienced in the movie business.

“I really loved just listening to the guy be an encyclopedia on set. It’s incredible, the amount of information that guy stores in his head.”

Scoot didn’t mention how often shots were ruined because the light gleaming off Tarantino’s big moonhead, and also how his relaxed approach to the n-word made everyone on set really uncomfortable – but he didn’t want to give away too much of the movie-making magic.

 Vice
(due out 25 January 2019) 

The Big Short director Adam McKay’s latest take on recent history is the story of how Dick Cheney became the most powerful American Vice-President since that one who took over after Kennedy was shot in the head.

Previously McKay said that it was going to be a very straight drama without the fourth wall-breaking that was so well-received by audiences in The Big Short, but he lied!

Because the director has explained that a musical number which involved Donald Rumsfeld (Steve Carell) “teaching Cheney about Washington, D.C. and how to get ahead” had to be removed from the final cut:

“It’s breathtaking. It’s incredible. And it just didn’t work. You didn’t need it. It was too long in that area of the movie.

“We tried 15 versions of it. We moved it here, we moved it there. We played it really short. We played it way longer and put scenes in the middle of it. We tried every single thing you could do.

“The only reason it doesn’t pain me at this moment is because I know we tried everything we could do. You’re in the editing room and you’re like, ‘This is amazing. This is going to work.’ And you just forget the movie tells you what it wants.”

If that’s what has been cut, what sort of non-straight drama fun is in store?

Barbie
(due out 8 May 2020)

The long-hoped Barbie movie has seen a bit of forward momentum this week when it was announced that Margot Robbie will star.

Joke-stealing human/manatee-hybrid Amy Schumer dropped out of the project in 2016, and Anne Hathaway’s name was briefly attached, but Robbie has signed on with this statement, which was  clearly written by a Barbie studio boss:

“I’m so honored to take on this role and produce a film that I believe will have a tremendously positive impact on children and audiences worldwide.”

Here’s the synopsis: A doll living in ‘Barbieland’ is expelled for not being perfect enough and sets off on an adventure in the real world.

The Upside
(due out 11 January 2019 – that’s today!)

Bryan Cranston and Kevin Hart’s uplifting comedy-drama would have come and gone completely unnoticed by most, if it had not been for comments from Cranston about his casting.

Sensing outrage about his casting as a quadriplegic businessman, the Breaking Bad actor launched a pre-emptive response, which has drawn peoples’ attention to the casting, yet still no cares about it or the film.

Cranston explained that him playing the disabled character was “a business decision” to the Press Association:

“I think having a conversation started is always a good thing. In this particular case, bringing awareness to the fact that hey, we would love to see more disabled people given the opportunities to participate in the entertainment world, and potentially grow.

“If, as a straight, older person, and I’m wealthy, I’m very fortunate, does that mean I can’t play who is not wealthy, does that mean I can’t play a homosexual?

“I don’t know, where does the restriction apply, Where is the line for that? I think it is worthy for debate to discuss those issues.”

All good points that should have been made for a film that people would have been interested to see, it’s just a shame that The Upside isn’t one.

Mary Poppins Returns Returns
(due out TBC)

Thankfully now that Mary Poppins author P.L. Travers has died, which meant that her ban on Disney producing any future Poppins films after she abhorred the first one, leaving Disney to wait until she died and then strike up a deal with her estate, has been lifted, the House of Mouse is full steam ahead with excavating the Poppins book series to produce more perfectly-acceptable, if somewhat cookie-cutter Mary Poppins sequels.

Mary Poppins Returns director Rob Marshall has explained to The Sun that Disney are continuing to defecate on Travers’ wishes (and by extension, defecate all over her grave):

“It is early stages but I will say right now that there were eight books, so there’s a lot of great material still to mine. That’s what we worked from, those incredible eight books of P.L. Travers. So, you know…”

I’m sure that I’m not the only one to have more Mary Poppins films to get superhyped for, and then after having viewed them, feel underwhelmed and a bit deflated.

Green Book
(due out 30 January 2019)

Green Book – the story of a working-class Italian-American bouncer driving an African-American classical pianist on a tour the 1960s American South, has received plenty of award nominations, but is suffering from as turbulent a pre/post-release experience as any non-DC film can get.

Firstly there was the fried chicken outrage from a couple of weeks ago, and now an old Tweet from the film’s co-writer Nick Vallelonga has resurfaced:

The Tweet stayed up on Vallelonga’s Twitter until a couple of days of days ago when the outrage was kicked off. This is what happens when you have strong opinions; just keep your head down, try not to cause any type of fuss and live a completely grey and uninteresting existence – that’s the only way to get through this life unscathed.

This Week’s Banned Film News

We’ve previously had films being banned for featuring gay characters and all of the straight-corrupting potential that their fabulousness brings, but this week it’s been reported that a scene from Aquaman has been censored in Saudi Arabia and Indonesia with a straight kiss?

The scene in question is the kiss between Aquaman (Jason Momao) and Meera (Amber Heard), which – for unexplained reasons – was chopped from screenings in Saudi Arabia and Indonesia, possibly because, owing to the fact that they are half-fish or whatever, young people would be jumping into rivers to try and f*ck whatever aquatic creatures they could get their hands on.

Trailer of the Week

The post new years trailer drought has continued, as this week we’re only provided with trailers for Hotel Mumbai – a recounting of the 2008 terror attacks in Mumbai, and Little – a comedy that sees a tech mogul wake up as her 13-year-old self (like reverse Big).

Trailer of the week? Good question. Velvet Buzzsaw – the mind-bending drama-horror starring Jake Gyllenhaal as a contemporary art critic who discovers a series of paintings by an unknown artist which cause a supernatural force to enacts revenge on those who have allowed their greed to get in the way of art.

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